Today I bought an umbrella for the first time since I broke the one that I had when I was six, which was red with animals drawn on it.
I had hooked it up on a light pole while pretending to be Mary Poppins. Mom got angry and I never had one again. Until now.
It was like betraying myself a little because I have always had a thing for standing under balconies but today I had a job interview and if I arrived soaked I was not going to look eligible at all.
It was yellow like the one that the girl has in that movie that you love.
If I get hired next month I’ll buy a coat to match. I think that buying the boots might be too much, but who knows? They say that this year is going to be very rainy.
It’s a shame you’re not around. Today, when the rain stopped I went to the rooftop to hang my clothes and for a minute I got distracted by the colors of the sky, it was so perfect that I almost thought it was nice.
But no.
I felt like eating chocolate and crossing the 5th Avenue with my eyes shut.
I felt like not leaving bed anymore.
Like If I could drown myself in a bathtub filled with tea.
It is just, not having you close seems like the cold that clogs into your bones.
The one that makes you numb.
The one that does not let you be.
I am not blaming you for all my troubles, but you were a divine excuse.
You were covering the sun with a thumb.
The relief in my chest after crying on a Sunday.
A warm towel after a long shower.
When you were less distant the depression did not exist and the Alprazolam was an ornament on the bedside table.
But now.
Now I bought myself an umbrella.

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